


Bad at Sleeping Alone

by KiKi_the_Creator



Series: Tumblr Stuff & Prompts (Choices) [2]
Category: Queen B (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, mentions of chapter 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:13:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27385501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiKi_the_Creator/pseuds/KiKi_the_Creator
Summary: Zoey and Bea are bad at sleeping alone. Like, really bad at it. Like, so bad that they just… can’t. Not unless there’s someone with them. But that someone can only be each other, mind you. And the weirdest part of it all? They’ve never had this problem before, never needed someone there, needed this one person specifically.
Relationships: Zoey Wade/Main Character (Queen B)
Series: Tumblr Stuff & Prompts (Choices) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000551
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Bad at Sleeping Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Late night ficlet for the real Queen B, Zoey Wade
> 
> [Original post](https://kiki-the-creator.tumblr.com/post/633699052800950272/bad-at-sleeping-alone)

Zoey and Bea are bad at sleeping alone. Like, really bad at it. Like, so bad that they just... can’t. Not unless there’s someone with them. But that someone can only be each other, mind you. And the weirdest part of it? They’ve never had this problem before, never needed someone there, one person specifically. And, actually, maybe the weirdest part is that it really didn’t even start happening until the whole _Benji incident_ took place. 

Bea had been shaken to her core after it happened, glassy eyed and numb to the world as Zoey hugged her and comforted her, turning on her favorite movies and shows, ordering pizza and her favorite snacks, and burying Bea in a mountain of fluffy blankets on the couch. They’d stayed up all of that night, to the point that Zoey was almost falling asleep in her classes the next day while taking her notes.

Zoey had spent the night laughing at the bad movies they always loved, and Bea would force a smile whenever Zoey glanced at her, but not a single one of them reached her eyes that night. Zoey had gorged on sweets and snacks all night, nearly making herself sick on pizza and ice cream, but the most Bea managed was a single slice, only taking bites when Zoey asked if she was feeling okay.

The night was long and odd, and Zoey tried her best to make it normal, but it just couldn’t be, not when Bea still had a haunted look in her eyes and refused to let Zoey turn off even a single light; it was like she was suddenly afraid of the tiniest amount of darkness. But Bea Hughes wasn’t afraid of anything, least of all something so trivial and childish as the dark.

But Zoey obliged all the same, she even went around and flicked on every single light in their dorm, even ones they couldn’t see when night fell, the darkness seeping through the windows that Bea checked were locked three or four times before sitting down. _Every_ time she sat down. If she got up to the bathroom she turned on her phone’s flashlight, even with every lightbulb on its brightest setting, and made her rounds of every window and the front door, checking and testing the locks until she was satisfied.

And to make things even weirder, Bea didn’t even want to sleep when Zoey asked, shaking her head furiously and stumbling over an explanation, an excuse that she was just having fun. So neither of them slept a wink, even though they were sat directly next to one another the whole time, Bea inching closer as the hours dragged on.

\---

Zoey offered to binge whatever Bea wanted the next night, too, but Bea refused, saying she should get some sleep, so Zoey conceded. She went to bed easily, wrapped up in her comforter and sheets as Bea sat down the hall, laying in bed with as much light as she could create and staring at the ceiling blankly, until she couldn’t take it anymore. She sat up, grabbed her phone and earbuds and blasted music until she couldn’t hear anything, until she could scroll her phone and get lost in social media and pointless rivalries that kicked her while she was down.

When the sun started to rise, she dragged herself from under the layers and stalked into the common area, settling herself in the corner of the kitchen, back to the counter so she could keep an eye on the entirety of the massive open space until Zoey woke up. And she did, after an hour or so, joining Bea in drinking coffee with a smile.

Bea forced a smile back, finishing off her third cup of coffee quickly, and left to get ready for the day, automatically feeling better with Zoey nearby. Maybe it helped because Zoey had threatened _him_ with stilettos and kitchen knives numerous times, and of all people, Zoey was most likely to actually go through with it on Bea’s behalf.

The cycle repeated itself the next night, Bea attempting to drown out and hide from the shadows that her worst nightmare could be lurking in while Zoey slept soundly in the same dorm. Bea downed five cups the next morning, grabbing more throughout the day to get through her classes and keep her mind sharp enough to avoid the devil incarnate and her mindless minions.

On the fourth day, Bea planned to continue her routine, even if the bags under her eyes had been begging for release from under pounds of concealer. Except for one thing, one disastrous thing: Cutiepie had gotten her earbuds and destroyed them. Both pairs, too, bluetooth and wired.

She sunk to the floor, staring at the mess of wires before her and felt pressure building at the back of her eyes, the last few days finally catching up to her, finally feeling _real_ and _scary_ and like she was hopelessly, absolutely, without a doubt _alone._ A few tears slipped from the corners of her eyes, sliding down her cheeks before she wiped them away with her sleeve.

It was already late, she had stayed on the couch with the TV on as long as she could, letting cheesy television fill the room until the empty space became too much to bear and she bolted for her room, praying she hadn’t woken Zoey with how panickedly she slammed her door. And now her one defense has been ripped to shreds by her stupidly cute dog.

She sniffled and wiped at her eyes, banishing the tears away and struggled to her feet. She dusted herself off, already dressed in pajamas since she got home and knew she didn’t want to leave, not unless she has to, and slipped under the covers. She wanted to sleep, she really did. But she felt as if it would make her so vulnerable, being unaware and unconscious. She felt as if it would make his job easier, that he could slip in and she’d never see, that she’d die alone, not even with her own thoughts to accompany her.

She curled in on her side, pulling the comforter over her head as she tried to block out the world, but when she opened her eyes, it was so dark beneath the fabric. Too dark. She threw the comforter back, the lights of the room bathing her in yellow, yellow she never wanted to be without. She took a deep breath to calm herself, searching the room for anything out of the ordinary. And, satisfied that there truly wasn’t anything, she fell back to her pillow, snuggled into the sheets, and stared at her wall, her hammering heart slowing in her chest the whole while.

_Crash._

Something fell or was smashed or broke or Bea didn’t even know what, but something loud exploded, and it sounded like it came from right outside her window. She jumped out of bed, nearly slipping on the floor as she glanced around wildly, looking for the source of the noise. She didn’t find anything, though whether that was because of her blurred vision or the fact that there was nothing, she wasn’t sure.

That was it, she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t try to sleep and she couldn’t be alone. She just couldn’t do this.

She huffed, ran her hands through her hair, and squeezed her eyes shut tight, willing something to change. Maybe if she squeezed hard enough she’d open her eyes and find out nothing had ever happened, that _he_ didn’t exist or she never even went to Belvoire in the first place. No, that’s stupid, because then she never would have met Zoey.

_Zoey._ That’s been her lifeline, right? That’s who was always there for her, even when she had no reason to be? Oh god, Bea’s a nuisance, isn’t she? A pest, unwanted and irritating.

But she had no other options, not anymore, not when she’s scared out of her skin and exhausted, not when even copious amounts of caffeine hadn’t been able to keep her coherent and fully awake these past few days.

She heaved a deep sigh, grabbed a blanket off her bed, and trudged out of her room in the direction of Zoey’s own. She steeled herself before entering, heaving another deep sigh and turned the handle, nerves eating away at her.

\---

“Zoey?” A quiet voice called out into the dark, small and worried as it floated over to the sleeping woman wrapped in her sheets.

“Hmm?” she hummed, shifting and pressing her face further into her pillow, sleepy and not even a quarter awake.

The voice grew bolder, louder as it echoed in the dark, “Are you awake?”

Zoey forced her eyes open, finding darkness ahead of her. She blinked into it, working to clear her sleep-induced haze, and turned over her shoulder, finding a shadowed halo of Bea with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders standing in the doorway, mass amounts of light filtering in the room. “Bea?” she called into the dark.

The shadow nodded, “I’m sorry, I just…” she took a deep breath, “I can’t sleep,” she whispered into the dark, pulling her blanket tighter around herself and dipping her head.

Zoey sat up, shifting to face Bea better, “How come, babe? What’s wrong?” Her voice was worn down by sleep, but she still forced it out.

“It’s… I haven’t been able to sleep since the whole... thing,” Bea murmured quietly.

Zoey’s mind whirred as her awareness grew, eyes nearly popping out of her head as she did the math, “It’s been _four days!_ Bea, have you not slept in _four days?!_ ” she couldn’t help the incredulous from her voice.

The shadow nodded, the light from behind it shifting with it. Zoey balked into the dark, bewildered and confused about how Bea could go _four days_ without sleeping, and even more confused how she could go _four days_ without telling her.

“Can I stay in here tonight?” Bea’s quiet, small, wavering and nervous voice called into the dark again, the shadowed figure shuffling awkwardly in the doorway.

Zoey had to stop herself from laughing in pure disbelief, “Yes!” She wrangled her volume, “Yes. Of course. Are you kidding? Get over here,” Zoey shifted across the mattress, leaving plenty of space for Bea to crawl in beside her.

And she did just that, slipping beneath the covers as Zoey held them open for her, laying on her side to face Zoey in the dark, the door still open. But Zoey knew enough not to comment, and simply wiggled closer, throwing her arm across Bea’s side.

She cuddled into Zoey, her head pressing into her chest as Zoey’s arm tightened around her, holding her tighter and softly combing through her hair, the shifting rhythm of Bea’s breath raising her chest with each inhale. Zoey glanced down after a long moment, only to find Bea’s eyelids shut and her breathing slow and steady as she dozed off.

\---

Then it started happening more regularly, Bea slipping into Zoey’s room in the middle of the night, nudging her awake until she let Bea in. Until Bea stopped asking, just crossing to the other side and cuddling up to a fast asleep Zoey. And Zoey didn’t mind those nights when she went to sleep alone and woke up to Bea beside her, because Zoey found it a little amusing and Bea needed it.

Zoey knew it helped, that she felt better being with someone, that it was probably the only way she could even sleep for a while. But she also knew that Bea didn’t want to talk about it, not when the conversation would inevitably circle back to why she couldn’t sleep on her own in the first place. So Zoey never brought it up, simply got out of bed and started her day, greeting Bea in the kitchen after she slipped out.

Except one night, after maybe three weeks of this routine, Bea didn’t sneak into Zoey’s room, didn’t slip under the covers, and didn't wrap herself around Zoey quietly. Zoey woke up to cold sheets, red flags flying before her eyes before she was even fully conscious. She glanced to her alarm clock, 3:06 printed in red block letters on it.

She slipped out from under the covers, padding across her room and out the open door until she reached Bea’s room, carefully pulling the door open. Bea was stretched out on her comforter, head buried in her arm with textbooks and papers strewn about and Cutiepie sprawled at the foot of the bed.

Zoey sighed, stepping further into the room and walked to the bed, gathering papers and textbooks and set them on Bea’s desk until the bed was cleared, save for Cutiepie and Bea. She pulled the sheets back from beneath Bea, pulling them over her sleeping form when they were clear of her body.

She turned, scratching Cutiepie on the head before leaving the room and walked back to her own, slipping under her covers. She faced the dark ceiling for what felt like an eternity, urging her body to just slip from consciousness. It didn’t work, her mind wide awake, even as she forced her eyes shut and tossed and turned incessantly.

She huffed, sat up and stared into the dark in frustration before she left her room for the second time tonight, right back to Bea’s, too. She scratched Cutiepie on the head again as she passed him, stopping on the opposite side to Bea. She crawled under the comforter, squirmed close to Bea, and buried her face in the loose hair haloed around her head, falling asleep sooner than she did earlier in the night, exactly as she expected.

\---

And so it continues, Zoey and Bea switching between their rooms every night, adding the couch on weekends when they spent hours staring at the television screen. They always woke up in different positions, their limbs tangled together from their sleep.

Bea curled into Zoey’s side seemed to be the most common, their arms flung around each other and draped across laps. Sometimes Zoey was leaned against Bea, her head on her shoulder and arms wrapped around her bicep tightly, a vice grip on Bea. Sometimes one of their heads landed in the other’s lap, fingers combing through their hair until they drifted off. Sometimes they woke up stacked on top of each other, Bea curled up with her head on Zoey’s chest or Zoey with her face buried in the crook of Bea’s shoulder.

One time Zoey had fallen asleep stretched out on the couch before Bea got home, the TV still playing faintly before her as she faded off, wrapped tight in a blanket. She woke up in the middle of the night to Bea sitting in front of the couch, her head dropped back against the couch cushions in front of Zoey’s chest, her mouth hanging open as she slept. Zoey stuck her finger in her gaping mouth until Bea woke up and started gagging while Zoey laughed hysterically until she couldn’t breathe.

The next time it happened, Bea’s mouth was shut, her side against the front of the couch as she slept with her legs bent at the knee and arms curled before her chest. Zoey had woken up in the early morning, the sky just beginning to lighten as she blinked the sleep from her eyes and sat up. She glanced around, looking for something to keep her occupied and decided on playing with Bea’s hair to wake her up, gently this time, so they could get their weekly Saturday breakfast.

\---

The week after Poppy’s sick and twisted human sacrifice, neither Bea nor Zoey got any decent sleep, and most of what they did manage was simply the result of pure exhaustion and frustration. At one point or another, each of them stood outside the other’s door in the middle of the night, contemplating turning the handle beneath their palm. But Zoey didn’t want to give in and Bea didn’t even know what to do if she did turn it, so they both turned away and slunk back to their own room.

After the first few sleepless nights, Bea starts spending every night on the couch, praying she’ll catch Zoey somehow and miraculously find the words to tell her how sorry she is and how stupid she was for thinking she would have had time, for thinking things would turn out okay at that godforsaken party. She sits with Cutiepie in her lap, scratching his belly and working through all the papers she needs to grade for Kingsley or all her stupid assignments that just keep piling up.

But not once does she spot Zoey, does she find an opportunity to weasel her way back into her life. And every time she thinks about it like that, she can’t help but feel like a pest again, and then all she wants to do is apologise profusely for everything and leave Zoey alone for good. But she actually has to figure out how to say all that, as well as find her chance, and so the cycle repeats, a vicious, cruel, constant cycle.

To make matters worse, Zoey knows how to avoid her, even if she hates doing it, even if she hates that she has to, and even if she _loathes_ that she’d gotten to the point where she couldn’t even sleep without Bea being there. She spends most of her time in her room, studying even though she doesn’t need to, scrolling her phone and noting a clear absence of anything Bea-related, and binging shows that were on her and Bea’s combined to-watch list.

Zoey knows Bea’s schedule, knows her classes and how early she leaves every morning. She knows when she sneaks back into the dorm thinking she’ll catch Zoey out of her room, knows what classes she’s willing to skip if it means finding Zoey sitting at the kitchen counter.

She knows everything about Bea, even the bad and annoying things, like how she hates raspberries and won’t drink hot coffee. How she mumbles in her sleep and refuses to wear socks to bed even though her feet are always freezing. Zoey knows Bea and Bea knows Zoey.

Bea knows how to crack at her walls, knows the stupid little things that warm her heart, like leaving an iced coffee for Zoey before she leaves every morning and pinning notes to Cutiepie’s collar about how sorry she is whenever Zoey agrees to watch him. And she knows how to win Zoey back, too. She knows to shriek along to a boombox in the courtyard to prove herself, and she knows to hug Zoey tighter than ever when she finally lets her.

Bea knows everything about Zoey, even the embarrassing things, like how she sings musicals in the shower and screams at every single scare in horror movies, even the ones that aren’t scary. She knows that Zoey hates spending time getting ready but loves the finished product, she knows that screaming along to the radio while they do their hair and makeup always makes it better.

They know each other inside and out, better than anyone else on the planet, and at times more than they know themselves. They know each other, and they know to fall back into their previous routine after the fallout, to order pizza and pour wine and laugh at stupidly awful movies until they pass out, Bea’s head on Zoey’s shoulder, with her own on top of Bea’s.

And they know just how bad at sleeping alone they are, how much they hated it and how much they never want to do it again. They know how easy it’s been to fall back into their routine, sneaking into each other’s rooms when it’s dark and leaving as the sun rises, a walk of shame with no reason to be ashamed.

They know it’s slowly changing, too, that they’ve started sneaking in earlier and earlier to talk and vent and just stare at the ceiling together. And they’ve started talking about it, joking in the mornings that Bea doesn’t bring breakfast in bed to impress and apologise for the thousandth time. Some days they don’t even sneak, they just stride into one of their rooms together and collapse on the bed, talking and talking until they decide to get changed and go to sleep, words still filling the space between them until they drift off, wrapped around each other every single night, because they are really, really, really bad at sleeping alone.

**Author's Note:**

> More Zoey stuff in the works, check out my tumblr [kiki-the-creator](https://kiki-the-creator.tumblr.com)


End file.
